R

God made men, and then said I can do better than that and made woman.

(1919- )

U.S. broadcaster

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

(1919-- ),

U.S. broadcaster

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

(1919--)

U.S. broadcaster

Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.

(1919--)

U.S. humorist

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

(1905—1982), Russian-American novelist

When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.

Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.

(1613—1679), French politician

Nothing sways the stupid more than arguments they can't understand.

(1966--)

U.S. comedianactor

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

"You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile."