P
Contents of P:
NYCO parade, 19 September 1964, quoted by NY Times, 21 September 1984.
This is Methodist weather--sprinkling. We Baptists prefer total immersion.
"Remember though thy foes are strong and tried, the angels of Heaven on are thy side, and God is over all!"
(1688—1744)
English poet
Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.
(1688—1744)
English poet
Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.
(1905—2000)
English novelist
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.
Avessalom Podvodniy — (pseudonym) — Russian writer, poet, phylosopher, esoterician, psychologist and astrologer.
I wonder what language truckdrivers are using, now that everyone is using theirs?
(1623—1662), French mathmaticianscientist
If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world.
(1623—1662), Lettres Provinciales, XVI, 1656
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction
(1947--)
U.S. writer
There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper.
(1926—1999)
U.S. female impressionist
I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.
Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.
(1893—1967)
U.S. author
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of their tires.
(1893—1967)
U.S. poet
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
(1893—1967)
U.S. poetwriter
Ducking for apples--change one letter and it's the story of my life.
(1893—1967), Paris Review (Summer, 1956)
If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best thing you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
(1804—1849)
U.S. author
My best friend would be the man who blew my brains out with a pistol.
The Bostonians are really, as a race, far inferior in point of anything beyond mere intellect to any other set upon the continent of North America. They are decidedly the most servile imitators of the English it is possible to conceive.
(except it was said by Philippe Destouches,(1680—1754), French playwright, in L'Obstacle impreum )
The absent are always in the wrong.
(1802—1870)
U.S. lawyerjournalist
Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.
(1885—1945)
U.S. general
Don't be a fool and die for your country. Let the other sonofabitch die for his.
These can never be true friends: hope, dice, a prostitute, a robber, a cheat, a goldsmith, a monkey, a doctor, and a distiller.
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.
(1894—1984)
British author, Observer, London, 15 May 1949.
Our trouble is that we drink too much. I see in this the slow revenge of the Orient, which has diverted the Yellow River down our throats.
(1894—1984)
British writer
One of the delights known to age, and beyond the grasp of youth, is that of Not Going.
U.S. writer
Cats are like Baptists. You KNOW they raise hell, but you can never catch them at it.
(1897—1972), Canadian prime minister
We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it.
(1939--)
U.S. feminist journalist
Boys don't make passes at female smartasses.
(1871—1922), French author
Everything good in the world comes from neurotics. They alone have founded our religions and composed our masterpieces.
(1959--)
U.S. comedienne
I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
(428—347 B.C.)
Boys should abstain from all use of wine until after their eighteenth year, for it is wrong to add fire to fire.
(428—347 B.C.), Greek philosopher
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
(428—347 B.C.), The Republic, ca. 370 B.C.
I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was able to reason.
(254—184 B.C.), comic Roman playwright
I much prefer a compliment, insincere or not, to sincere criticism.
(46—120), Greek priest & writer
I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
(46—120), Greek priest & writer, in "Conjugal Precepts"
When the candles are out, all women are fair.
(1921- ), on 10 June 1960
Dentopedology is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it. I've been practicing it for years.
"Since the Lord is directing our steps, why try to understand everything that happens along the way?"
Kozma Prutkov — a collective pseudonym for the group of Russian writers — Alexey Tolstoy and Zhemchuzhnikov brothers, who performed jointly in 50—60s of the 19th century.
Idealists maintain that all nations should share the atomic bomb. Pessimists maintain that they will.
(--1979)
U.S. screenwriter
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin--it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
(1906—1982)
U.S. baseball player
Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
(1906—1982)
U.S. baseball player
Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.
(Leroy Paige)
(1906—1982)
U.S. baseball player
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?
(Leroy Paige), Collier's
(13 June 1953)
Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts. Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. Go very light on the vices, such […]
If you want to have a good day, take a shave; a good month, slay a pig; a good year, marry; but if you want all your days to be good, become a priest.
U.S. film-maker
I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
(1948--)
British sci-fi author
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
(1948--), SF author, Small Gods
He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.
(1948--), SF author, Small Gods
The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.
"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum of moo. And I am afraid to say that these days all I get is moo.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
(1785—1866), poet
Two reasons for drinking: one is, when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.
(1737—1809)
U.S. politician
Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it.
(1644—1718)
Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.
(1900—1958)
U.S. physicist, on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.