B

(1889—1945)

U.S. humorist

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction--and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.

Spel chekers, hoo neeeds em?

(1842—1914)

U.S. writer

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

(1842—1914)

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

(1842—1914)

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

(1842—1914) , The Devil's Dictionary

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete/Successfully in business. Cheat.

(1842—1914), The Devil's Dictionary

A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

(1842—1914), in Gratton's Bitter Bierce

Here's to woman! Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Trust yow no Skott.