B

(1889—1945)

U.S. humorist

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction--and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.

Spel chekers, hoo neeeds em?

(1842—1914)

U.S. writer

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

(1842—1914)

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

(1842—1914)

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

(1842—1914) , The Devil's Dictionary

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete/Successfully in business. Cheat.

(1842—1914), in Gratton's Bitter Bierce

Here's to woman! Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

(1842—1914), The Devil's Dictionary

A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

Trust yow no Skott.