J

(1942--)

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

(1942--), "How to Save Your Own Life" (1977)

U.S. writer, poet

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

(1853—1935)

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

(1853—1935)

U.S. humorist

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

U.S. humorist

Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.

U.S. humorist

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

(1874—1948)

English writercritic

Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be.

(1874—1948)

English writercritic

Why did Nature create Man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?