Contents of H:
Whenever I feel the urge to exercise coming on, I lie down until it passes over.
(1934--), Australian comedian
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go indoors to use the toilet, and that's only a recent development.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Nobody shoulders a rifle in defense of a boarding house.
Behind every successful man stands a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
We need a President who's fluent in at least one language.
There are only about twenty murders a year in London, and not all are serious. Some are just husbands killing their wives.